Hidden Racism

Good Evening my friends,

Can we talk? Let's talk.

First off, let's welcome back Lord Sesshomaru. Boy I love this guy!!!!!

Now to buisness!

Gonna let everyone out there who reads this blog know that I'm a Black American or as my Grandmother would say "American Black," because we are American born and Americans first. Now, don't let this sway you. She firmly believed in loose segregation. Meaning, it is okay to mingle with people of different ethnicity, just not marry and have kids with them. Hey, I grew up in the South. Hello America to Hidden Racism.

I live in the North. Once called the "Free North". I personally call it, Type A personality Hypocritical Purgatory. Or, Liberal Country. As you can tell, I'm not liberal. Bring on the hate mail! I'm a Moderate Republican which means I usually vote Democrat because the Mod Reps just don't have the balls to go the distance. Well, except for Ron Paul. This guy I like, and I usually don't care for politicians or circus poodles, or dancing bears, or whatever. Congressman Paul , however seems to be one of the most down to earth Politicians rallying for the gold. I don't care for his views on abortion, gay marriage, and corporal punishment, but I'm sure he is somewhat malleable. Sorry about the digression I don't care for the majority of views of liberals. I don't like the care-free blame the government for everything attitude. The "owed" attitude. Freedom is not free. People like me and at least 1.4 million other out there that are earning it or have earned it. Citizenship, health care, education, decent economy, and prosperity should cost. At least 2 years out of a persons meager little life so they can't just spout off at the mouth things that someone else who shed blood, sweat, and tears paid for. Shut up you Birkenstock wearing, dread-lock having, house in the Cape visiting whining cunt. Won't you at least join the Peace Corps. That way you can at least bandage the wounded, feed the hungry, house the homeless, and educate the illiterate! Whew! I'm sorry.

Anyway, my point is Liberals are the first to shoot off about how they don't see differences in people. You know, that Oogy, Boogy, Song and Dance crap about everyone being equal no matter their race, religion, sex, age, etc. Bullshit!!!! If you don't see difference, it's called Hidden Racism. Naive Dumbshits! I want you to know I'm different. How will you appreciate me, or address me, or know what my limits are? Guess what, I don't tan the same way as you do, Caucasians. Yep, I don't want to tan. I'm dark enough as it is. Oops! There's a difference. I don't own a comb because it will damage my hair. Uh-oh. That's different too! I have bootylicious curves, fatter lips, and a name from my mother's imagination (well sort of. Not really. It could have been if she didn't watch so much TV!!!). Want me to go on? As an American Black I'm higher risk for Hypertension, HIV, and frostbite. My pigment allows me to function in warmer climates. Look it up. All sorts of differences.

Now, just because we (collectively) are different, doesn't mean we are inferior. I can do just about anything you put in front of me within reason (brain surgery is definitely out!) I am educated. I don't have the degrees, but I love to learn. I absorb if you teach me. I can best anyone out there with a little bit of time. Well, maybe not everyone, but at least one or two of ya! What I'm saying is don't look through me. Don't ignore me. Don't look the other way. Don't give me the la-de-dah. I earned my respect. Try me. Give me the dignity I deserve. Stop being fucking ignorant. Ignorance is the root of all hatred. Amazing. After almost 150 years, we still have not come far enough. The best part, we as a country just find new people to hate.

Good Night,


Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Albert Einstein
US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)

Yokai, the Enraged!

I swear....

Good evening!

Is it even possible for it to be any hotter here in New England. WTF!!! A place that can receive up to 8 inches of snow should never get to 100 degrees in the summer. This truly is a 4 season state.

So I am weaseling a bit of time just to give everyone an update on Ursula. She is finally out of ICU. She has had the breathing tubes removed and is eating solid food. Yet she is still bed bound. Currently, Hubby is saying everyone believes she will be coming home sometime next week. Yeah. That whole I will hear about not visiting her later thing is closing in fast. Wonderful. Out f-ing standing!

What I think I hate most about her condition is that everyone has nothing bad to say about her. It's like every ill dandelion seed that she spread via the wind crashed and burned only 2 inches away from the plant. Am I the only one who remembers the vile nature of this woman? Will her eulogy be comparable to Princess Diana's or Mother Theresa's? Does that officially make me the wicked one? I couldn't believe all the wonderful "memories" people are reminiscing on. It's like I entered the twilight zone. Whatever.

So I have decided that I hate liberals. Seriously, everyone one I've met in this state whines about everything: paying state tax, the price of gas, plastic, necessities should be free, war is wrong, etc. First of, I think people are seriously using the term "liberal" wrong. It is use to define some one's character. For most people that use it as characteristic, they should just change it to the word "stupid" because most of these yahoos are just not thinking. C'mon. No state tax? How the fuck do you pay for things then? There should be tax. The reason we can't afford shit now is because we keep lowering taxes. I for one would be willing to pay higher taxes to take care of our country. You know, health care, Social Security, Disability, Retirement, National Defense, Education. The "necessities."

War. The kinda had a good idea, but fucked it in the ass with nonsense. Chaos theory. If there is no war, then there cannot be peace. It's relative. Just like with out pain there's no pleasure. Wars change things that would not change on their own. It is a necessary evil. Sorry. Think of it as Darwinism. If there is nothing to fight for then what do you live for?

Let's just be real. Freedom isn't free. You get what you pay for. Stop whining and save all that energy for something worthwhile.

Have a great night!

Let me give you a word of the philosophy of reforms.
The whole history of the progress of human liberty shows that all concessions, yet made to her august claims, have been born of earnest struggle. The conflict has been exciting, agitating, all-absorbing, and for the time being putting all other tumults to silence. It must do this or it does nothing.
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.
This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what a people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.
***
Men may not get all they pay for in this world; but they must pay for all they get. If we ever get free from all the oppressions and wrongs heaped upon us, we must pay for their removal. We must do this by labor, by suffering, by sacrifice, and, if needs be, by our lives, and the lives of others.
______________________
Frederick Douglass

From an address on West India Emancipation, August 4, 1857.

Yokai

When in doubt, Scream!!!

Afternoon all!

So I am sitting here at Hubby's office. We were suppose to meet here at 11:30a to have lunch. Suppose to.

3pm!

We at a this Japanese restaurant called Ichiban. Just like the auto performance parts. It wasn't bad. They had the best tasting Crab Rangoons. Ahh.

So Not much to report other than my Mother-in-laws progress with that experimental laser removal of cancer nodules. It was a little touchy at first. The pain meds weren't working, causing her to be in great pain and fluid on her lungs. So she is currently in ICU. I hate the fact that I should be concerned because she is a life, but the evil inside of me could careless. Sometimes being dark is all that gets you through life. I have accepted that. Detachment is a great blanket!

Hubby is planning to see her this weekend. I'll be working so I won't be going. Bummer. Besides, it's not like me going to see her will really be appreciated. Of course it will be used against me later, but that'll be later.

I have got to find some way of getting me time again. With my crazy night schedule, I can't seem to work in time to read, blog, work out, or hang out on myspace. I feel like a louse. With more money (very little) comes lack of personal indulgence. I fucking hate being an adult.

Anywho, I hear one of my babies. Til next I type and you read!

TTFN!

Lady Demon

Never let your guard down!

Morning All!

So, now that I've had sometime to calm down and dwell, I can share. Always remember, a leopard can never change it's spots! It's amazing! Ursula is a dead ringer for my Mother-in-law!!!!

Yesterday after our couple's massage, we ended up at the in-laws. Lately, it's been tolerable for me to be in their presence. It must be the Zoloft masking the pain! One day a week, I like to go drug-free. No Blood pressure meds, no tripped out head meds, no Naproxen, no Vitamin, just herbal tea for whatever ails me. I know. Not good considering two of those meds are classified as life sustaining. But it's a quasi-detox day for me. So just let me have it okay!!!!! It's my vice like shoe shopping.

Anyway, I'm back on track now. We end up at the in-laws, and we visit for maybe two hours. It's going well. We watch Hubby and his brother play Trauma Center: Second Opinion... on Nintendo Wii. As idiotic as the concept of a video game based on Emergency Room situations, it's pretty interesting to watch. I'd buy it if I had a Wii! We tell them about the couple's massage we just finish having. The first thing Ursula says is "Oh, you went back to that girl. I thought you said she wasn't any good!!" I was livid! Not only is this "girl" the best MT that I have ever had, she is one of my good friends that I cherish deeply! I let the anger cool in me and didn't say a word. She continues, " It must be nice to be rich. To be able to afford a ritzy thing like massages. I wish I made enough money where I could just splurge on myself." Again, not only did she offend my belief in alternative medicine, she mocked us for our choice of how we celebrated our anniversary. The Bitch!!! The anger flashed in my eyes. I could see the little smirk in her face. The way she enjoyed belittling the event and my friend. How dare she. When most people can't even afford health care, she has the audacity to exploit people's weak nature by begging for money for a 50,000 dollar cancer treatment. Her third cancer treatment. You know, because regular ones you can get at a Kmart Blue light fucking special!!!!! Ugly fucking whore!!!! Die Bitch! Die fucking SCREAMING!!!!

I change the subject quickly before I rammed the wooden leg of the coffee table next to me through her chest and into her black non-beating heart. I talk about the chance to take the typing test for USPS while weighing the pros and cons. My mother-in-law must have been feeling better and less depressed about death because she sparked in with her nay-saying. "It's too far to travel. It's not worth the money. The job seems stupid and pointless. Why is our tax money going to support stupid jobs? Can you even type? It went on and on.

So I sort of changed the subject about one of my favorite rants, dumbass customers. I was discussing some of the idiotic return situations when she rudely interrupted me, and went on with a rampage about how we are committing a crime by putting returned/used books back on the shelves and selling them for the same price as new books. How she would never shop there because what we do is illegal. How even though she can't remember where she read it or exactly what it says, but she knows that in the state of Massachusetts, anything that leaves the store is used and should be repriced accordingly. The best is how she claimed she wants to notify the Better Business Bureau about it. When I explained we don't sell used books in the store, she yelled at me and said, "Yes you do! I saw it on line!" I continued telling her those are from independent sellers using the website as medium to list there used items. The store itself does not sell them. She went on about how that was false advertising, and how people think they are getting used books from our store when we are just throwing our name out for profit sake. I didn't even want to get in to that the store doesn't receive a profit from the purchase of used books. Maybe a sellers fee like Ebay, but not a profit. She went on and on about how much she knew about the inner workings of my bookstore even though she never worked there. Eventually, I changed the subject to Father's Day. She began another bitch session.

I tell ya. That woman cannot die fast enough. Why is the Goddess prolonging my agony? I must say, that whole incident was my fault. I let my shields down. I ridiculously believed that since death was walking down her driveway, she was taking an interest in me. What was I thinking? Leaving myself vulnerable to attacks. I must be like a Spartan again. Stick to known safe tactics. I knew I couldn't discuss anything in my life with her, but she seemed to be getting less cunty. Apparently it must have been gas.

I just needed to share that morsel of rancid pasta.

See talk to ya later on the battlefield,

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

Joe Ancis

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

Steven Weinberg, quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999
US physicist (1933 - )

Yokai

That's Bitch!

Howdy!

Pay A Pimp Named Slickback no mind. I think he totally fits.

So we will start of with a phrase I created. I 've gotten a few people to say it. I want more to adopt this phrase. "That's Bitch!" So you ask, "What does it mean?" Well my dear readers, I will tell you:

That's Bitch is used to describe one's feelings/reaction/mood/etc. on an event, situation, idea, person, whatever that is completely idiotic, insane, unfair, unjust, unpopular, unsafe, unreasonable, unruly, unproductive, wrong physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and/ or illegal. Now here is the most important part: No matter how fucked up "whatever" may be, it is not unfathomable/ inconceivable/intolerable.

It's do-able. Kinda like bullshit that can be waded through. For example, a 9 year old boy buys two of those pick-your-own-path books. After reading the first one, the kid could not reach an ending. He kept picking a path that would loop (the same path apparently). After reading the second book, the little asshole finds a few "syntax errors" in the book. He tells his clueless father, and they're off to return the books. See, That's Bitch! When you were 9, did you know what the Fuck a syntax error was? Seriously, the kid used that term when he was at the counter! When they reached my register, I heard the story. I personally began to smell bullshit hovering in the air. I was about to say, Hell fucking No, but I remembered, we are a "Yes" Corporation so I called for a manager, who will remain nameless. Needless to say, the manager okayed the return. I bit my tongue, refunded their money, and drove on. Pissy I was, but I kept going.

I just want to air this! We as a people should never be restricted the right to say no. We fucking tell kids to say no to drugs, but fuck that if they ever get a retail job! Fucking No people!! Stop being Dicks! You can't have your god damn cake and not expect a fucking heart attack down the line fatties!!!!

So yeah, do-able. That's Bitch!!! Learn it. Love it. Live it.

I got a letter in the mail for USPS two days ago. After waiting damn near a year for something, I get notification that I was selecting to take a typing test for a position. Automated Mark Up associate. Correcting zip codes and stuff. I just have to pass the 5 minute long typing test, go through an interview, and pray that I stand out from a hundred or so other applicants. The downside, commuting everyday to Worcester. The upside, starting pay at $18.26 p/h, full bennies, and paid vacation, along with 401K and retirement. Hey, if it doesn't pan out, at least I still sell books.

Amazingly, Mother-in-law has reached the last hope of extending her life. On 31 May, her co-workers and union members held a spaghetti dinner to raise money for her surgery. It's a type of laser surgery to remove cancer growth. Their are two programs: the one that's been going on in Germany for the last 10 years, and the experimental one being offered in NY city. The big dif is the one in Germany is the equivalent of $50,000 USD. That doesn't include airfare, hotels, food, transportation, and meds. Both are not covered by her insurance. Kinda makes you think. If it's mandatory for us to have med insurance, maybe a few more things should be included with the coverage such as cancer treatments. You gotta love forking over all this hard earned cash to find out the treatments to save your life aren't covered. By the way, she has Osteosarcoma. She was in the Republican news paper a couple of days ago. She was on the cover of the Local section. The amazing thing about it is her case is rare. Most people with this type of cancer are under the age of 15. She's 46.

Unfortunately, I had to work the night of the fund raiser. It's not like I was missed. While everyone was there meeting the family, the black sheep (no pun intended) was not there to phunk things up. Goddess knows the last thing you want to do when encouraging sympathy and raising money is to look out of the ordinary. Somehow parading an interracial couple (while socially it's looked down upon to notice that our pigment is different) usually doesn't help. People that are successful at weaseling money out of people look like your "average " American. Caucasian, Christian, Living within their means, and of an age where they appear mature, but have fallen on some bad circumstance not of their fault. I know, It's Bitch.

So to celebrate Hubby's and mine anniversary, we went out on our date on Wed, and yesterday (Sat) we had a couples massage by one of my friends. Hey, she's a Licensed MT! Sick Bastards! Heads out the gutter! It was great. He even bought me a wax burner with wax in the shape of stars. They smell so good! He is currently having a camp counselor reunion in Russell. I am left alone to my own devices!!!! I love it!!!!

So I'm calling it a night!!!


We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact.

Jean-Paul Sartre
French author & existentialist philosopher (1905 - 1980)


Yokai Kifujin

I missed you guys!

Hello everyone out there in the World Wide Web!

It has been almost a month since we spoke last. A lot has happened since then.

I became a Cash Supervisor at work. Just as soon as I was enjoying working at the bookstore, I had to go and ruin it by applying for this position. I have been doing it for almost a month now. At this point, I hate customers of our store. I don't know how the hell they are anywhere else, but the ones that come to our store are obnoxious. They demand to be treated like royalty when most of them are the scum of the Earth. Definite candidates for Soylent Green!!!!

I think the main pisser is the lack of one word from our (the employees to include managers) vocabulary: No!!! The goal of our "superior" customer service is to make the consumer feel as if they would be causing themselves udder mental anguish by shopping somewhere else for their lattes and magazines because we are always finding new and improved ways of saying "yes" to them. So they leave our store happy believing they duped the idiots who obviously don't have a college degree or any motivation to be worthwhile to society other than asking if someone wants an extra shot of espresso or need a plastic bag for magazine. When in all actuality, Corporate has made the employees so scared of sending customers to their proverbial bedroom for stupidity and shistiness. An unhappy customer an employee calls on bullshit reports to the head honchos that they were, oh lets just say, belittled and called a liar, and that employees ceases to be an employee withing the next 48 hours. I tell ya, customer service jobs are just bitch. But of course, when the company gets hoodwinked and bamboozled outta thousands of dollars due to con-customers, it is the employees' fault for not protect the company. I tell ya, it never ends with the ass raping. Sodomy for everyone!!!

I should call it a quits. It's been fun. We must do this again.

No send out tonight. Just a thanks for not forgetting me!

Yokai!

Anyway, I have come to find out that All that frustration can be solved by a white russian and a quick button polish when I get home. Crazy isn't it.