Bangkok, Ballcock, and other funny words!

Hey there!

Just when sanity was in my reach, I spoil it all by saying, "Bangkok," all day! Come on, if you don't think that the word is obscenely funny, then you have a serious chuck of wood up your ass! My husband got mad at me in Home Depot the other day because while in the plumbing section I see a plastic wrapper with the word, "Ballcock," on it! I couldn't help it. Like a victim of Tourette's, I just kept saying it and giggling uncontrollably. Maybe the doc should lower my dosage of Zoloft!

Sorry. I was distracted by the Nancy Grace show on Headline News. They are discussing the emergency court order to prevent Larry Birkhead from taking Dannielynn out of the Bahamas. Gotta love gold-digging grandmothers.

So I promised I would finally talk about Iraq, and I'm going to.

I noticed the deployments for Army soldiers just got extended to 15 mos. Amazingly when I was there, 8 month deployment was the discussion. So I'm confused. Are they pulling out or extending the tours for the long haul? Maybe it's both. Who knows. All I know is while nobody wants to be there, someone has too. However unpopular this catastrophe is we cannot just wash our hands of it. I think the main problem is Americans in general disregard consequences. I mean even in our own society we do not take the blame for our own shortcomings and behavior. It was either your parents, spouse, teachers, medical condition, whatever that has caused your actions. The same with Iraq. It is the consequence of our Patriotism, Pride, Vengeance, and Arrogance. But that doesn't matter. We have to finish it. We have to at least put Iraq back to almost the way we found it. Not a dictator, not a monarch, maybe not even a democracy, but stable ground. We have past the point of no return. Walking away will only hurt us in the long run. We have enough enemies. We don't need to set ourselves up to go back into Iraq in another decade.

When I got to Iraq, I had never done my job in a tactical environment. No hostile situations, everyone spoke English, and we all shared a similar culture. I don't think there is truly anyway to prepare for conducting Human Intelligence in another country with another culture other than to just do it. You stumble and fall alot. You never quite understand every situations, but you do learn normalises. "Insha 'Allah," or if god wills it, because one of the most hated phrases in the world. It's the go to phrase for Muslim detainees during questioning. It really means if I tell you or don't tell you anything, it's because god made it so, and not that I am a stubborn and irritating sonafbitch!

Deep Breath. Whew! Then Zen and Marble castles in the clouds. Ah. Better.

When I went out, I mostly spoke to women. I would take off my helmet while I was inside the mud homes to show my hair ( it was in a bob and then later I grew enough hair for a bun which I would let down ). This would put the women at ease because they will not confess anything to a male. Well not with out alot of wailing and tears. The sad thing is after so many encounters, you become numb to the tears. It's great when you are there, but when you come back to your world, you don't feel anything. Not when you granny who you loved endlessly dies, not when your husband is stressed, not when you take a sex hiatus for 14 mos, not even when you wish for your life to end.

I'm sorry. I just got really sad.
I think I will end here.

--The most important point is to
accept yourself and stand on
your own two feet.

--Shunryu Suzuki

Yokai Kifujin

Megatron made me say it!!!

Hey guys!

I'm fighting with my computer right now. Apparently it does not like the influence of Megatron. For everyone out there who has no idea who he is, I've provided a link. Go be educated!

So I know I would talk more about Iraq today, but I gotta share moments of random evilness in my head. What's up with the kid who was plowed over by a football player? Who the hell let's there 4 year-old run around the outskirts of a football field while a game is going on? Craziness!! !! It's the 13Th clip down. Darwin Award finalists!!!

My mother-in-law received results from her PET scan yesterday. The news was confirmed by a second cancer specialist. Basically, more nodules. The site of cancer were her femur was removed has gotten worse. Nodules are gaining in size. A new spot appeared near her right shoulder. Some how through extreme sadness, she decided to biopsy the new growth to see if what the mass is. From there they will decide what to do next. The prediction is bleak. From 6 mos to 2 years.

So at almost four years, I still can't hold a conversation with her. I want to do something nice like flowers or a card, but she has snubbed her nose at my efforts every time. When I don't do anything, I get bitched out through the grapevine. How disappointed she is of me being a terrible daughter-in-law ( emphasis on in-law). Whatever. I told Hubby about the new line of Hallmark Expressions cards. These are cards for those events and circumstances that are either a lot less pleasant or socially acceptable such as separation/divorce, miscarriage, cancer, loss of a child, etc. So I decided to run some ideas to the Hallmark people:

• Sorry I knocked you up
• Sorry I also knocked your Mom up
• You're dying. Can I have your stuff
• Sorry I gave you VD
• Hope you find your baby's daddy
• Good Luck on your Sex Change
• Congrats on coming out of the closet
• Good job on losing your virginity
• You lost your virginity and we all think you are a filthy dirty tramp
• Have a Happy I have Two Gay Fathers' Day
• #1 Dumb ass
• Condolences on being impotent
• Your ass is fat, but we still love you
• Surprise! Your ass is that fat
• To our favorite felcher
  
• Sorry about your eviction/ repossession
• Good Luck throughout your bankruptcy
• To the best asshole in the world
• Super! Good work getting that DUI
• Sympathy on getting fired
• Get well while in rehab
• Marriage is a sacred thing between cousins
• Hope you don't get ass raped in prison
• Be my crack whore
• Merry Trailer Trash Day
• To a great first day of alcoholism
• I missed you and your other 7 personalities
• Your hair plugs look great compared to your comb over
  

Yep, I'm a sick fuck!

Since it's late, again I'm going to cut short the talk from Iraq. I talked Hubby into going to BJ's. We have no food in this house. We suck. After $167.00, we still have no food, but we do have a ton of Oil of Olay products!!! I watched House, then I began searching for the elusive hairball one of my cats spit up earlier today. It's been at least six hours, and I still haven't found it. The Science Diet Indoor formula with a mix of the light hairball formula eliminated their hairball problem except for the random one every so many months. I think they are so ashamed of it, they hid it. Another time my friends. I promise!

Reality has no inside, outside or middle part.

--Bodhidharma

Crazy fact: Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath crown to hide the fact that he was balding.

Lady Demon

It is a hot one today!

Hi guys!!

After spending the previous week sick beyond belief, I didn't think I would pull off being a great host to my friends the past week. Surprisingly, all they wanted to do after spending months in Iraq with boo-koo bank was sit around with me, and occasionally shop at the mall. I even picked a few things up. It was great. They also helped me shop for two great pairs of jeans. Apparently after my massive weight-loss last year, I didn't realized that I finally made it to a size 5. After an hour of trying on the most form fitting and sexiest jeans, we found two pairs that made my lady hump sing!!!! Thank You, Pac Sun!!!!

After work when I entered my car, the temperature read 93 degrees! To all that is sacred and holy in the world, why the hell is it that hot in April in New England. Did Satan relocate to Massachusetts? Well, I know Purgatory is near the Rhode Island border, but Hell, MA... I could so see it. Instead of Massholes we would be "Hellholes." Okay, my attempt at humor sucked ass!! Sue me. I never said I was a bloody comedian.

A bit of sad news. A pilot from the incredible "Blue Angels was killed in a crash this weekend. In case anyone missed it here is the CNN report . The amazing thing was I thought the flags were at half mass because the state of Mass usually lowers the flag when a soldier in either Iraq of Afghanistan are killed. No idea that it was a Blue Angel pilot. He was from Pittsfield, MA.

So the My space thing is going wonderfully. I have so much fun on the site. I also get to talk to people I haven't spoken to in awhile.

Sorry, Mooie is being needy. He is hot and miserable. Geez, he is such a bitchy fat woman in a fat male cats body! I think he is not only irritable, but also bored. Great, I wanted to talk more about Iraq, but somebody is being a baby. "Mooie! Get out of those cabinets!" Yes. I just typed what I yelled at the cat!

Next time,
all Iraq.

Yokai

Blogatus 2

So it's been 4 EVA!!!!

I know! I'm a shit! Last week I spent the majority of last week on my proverbial death bed! The week before I spent feeling generally shitty and tired. This week I was still sick and tried to recover before my friends made it in. I barely got a quick cleaning of my house before they got here!

Two of my friends from the Army came to see the demon. They are doing good work in Iraq as civilian contractors. Doing what they have been train to do by Uncle Sam. See, it does pay to stay awake in class!

All I can say is it most be awesome to be able to buy things without looking at the price.

I have no idea what's going on in the world. We survived the horrid storms from earlier this week with little elements.

Oh, just one thing!

If you are going to call someone a "nappy headed whoe," make sure that they are living nappaturally! I worked hard for my afroey naps. Why should some relaxer loving, chemical condoning women get my racial slur!! WTF!!!!

So that's from me tonight. I have a guest to entertain. And yes, I joined the bandwagon. I have a myspace page. Well you're not getting any info on that. This blog is for the rants of a demon. Not a cute little black woman in jeans!

Nite!!

Peace be with you and yours!

Yokai

Getting my "A" game back!

Happy Easter/ Spring!!!

I know not everyone out there celebrates Easter. I didn't, but I did it with the in-laws. It is totally becoming do-able. I think it's the Zoloft. The only bad thing with the Zoloft is I picked up biting my lip again. I totally broke the habit when I got braces. I would have small relapses if I got nervous, but nothing like now. I literally can't stop doing it. Chewing gum helps, but when I don't have gum, I chow down on my bottom lip. My therapist says this will work itself out. I think maybe Dharma should cut back on the 'shrooms!

Wow, sorry I just got distracted by my cat Laurel. She is peeing standing up!!! Crazy Yo!

So, I don't know where I left off last time with my misadventures in Iraq. So I will just do my best.

Welcome to Tal Afar, Iraq. Home of the Turkomen. Tal Afar is nothing like Baghdad. I see pics of Baghdad on the News. Is that what Americans think Iraq looks like? Baghdad is like the Manhattan of Iraq. I was telling my therapist about what Iraq in my neck of the woods looked like. There were no buses, except for school buses. Those usually got blown up. You know, education is the devil or the infidel. Tal Afar is dirty. No paved roads. Well, not true. The 4 main roads ( these take you to other towns/villages/cities) are paved. Not very well, though. Lots of pot holes, sinkholes, and bomb holes. The occasional dead body (animal or human) lies there. The roads have an awesome trim of what we called, "the river of poo." Yes. There is no running water. No sewer system. So raw sewage flows down the streets. The sides and some times the middle. They would get the high tech plumbing, but all the educated people who can do that are either in Baghdad, in another country safe from persecution, or American soldiers who would be shot at on site for imposing their "western ways" on to the local culture.

I love hearing people talk about how we should leave, that the innocent Iraqis did nothing to us. Why are we there? The Iraqis have done nothing to us, but they are far from innocent. When good people do nothing, they become bad people. The Iraqis did nothing to help themselves or anyone else. A country of 25 million against a dictator and maybe his thousands of henchmen? But, I being a silly American. I'm giving them too much credit. While most Iraqis are just trying to make it day by day, and not hurting anyone. They would rather save their own skin today, then their children's children's skin tomorrow. They only bring up the safety/needs of their family around Westerners because they know we value family. The Iraqis I encountered day to day were individualistic. How is that different from us? We have a sewer system because we learned that raw sewage leads to disease and death. For the benefit of our people we put in place a system that we carry waste away, purify it, then recycle the clean water. They know that as long as it in not in the house, it is taken care of. It will eventually go away. Many of the people lack the knowledge of how to properly take care of waste. They also believe once it's out of there home, it is someone else's problem. Maybe the one's in Baghdad are different.

The homes are made out of either stone or mud/clay. Donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep roam where ever they want. The shepherds are usually good at keeping them in their grazing areas though. I can't even tell you how man donkeys and cows were run over while I was there.

Kids there were like seagulls. "Soldier, Soldier!! Give me candy!" " Mister, Mister. I want candy!" Annoying as fuck! They aren't cute. There dirty, smelly, rude, and sometimes dangerous. Insurgents love to see kids around soldiers. It's a great cover for them. Once a crowd of kids surround you, you are stuck. Bad things can happen. The kids are unfortunately caught in the crossfire. When I first got there. As Intel, you learn from the locals that when there are no kids on the street, then something is up. So you have to be aware of lots of kids and no kids. Crazy.

Mister. That's what I got called all the time. I hope it wasn't because I look like a man. No it wasn't. I asked one of my terps (interpreter) and then a couple of detainees why they called female soldiers, Mister. A soldier is a male occupation in Iraq, however, I have heard that the Shiites in the Kurdistan had a unit of female soldiers. Exception not the rule! It is assumed all soldiers are male. Also, women don't carry large rifles with them everywhere. Add that with the uniformed-look, and you are Mister, regardless how big your tits are!

So, I shall call it tonight.

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern.

Ever class is unfit to govern.

---Lord Acton, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1881


Yokai

Help! I can't feel my teeth!!!!

Hi Guys and Gals,

It has been awhile hasn't it? I took last week off because I got stuck in a book, Nymphos of Rocky Flats by Mario Acevedo. It was great! Believe it or not, nymphomania was rarely touched on in the book and no acts were even discussed. It was a infectious condition and it was contained. That's it. This book was mostly about Vampire. It was a thriller/Sci-Fi/mystery. A quick and fun read. I'm on the sequel now.

So in the last week or so, not very much has happened. I definitely have lost some of my intensity or my fire. I really just want to sit around drinking Mojito cocktails and screaming, " I am a Jedi," while running in my hello kitty underpants and waving an American flag. Whadaya gonna do?

I spent today at the vet with Maxx. Just a yearly vaccination and check up. He's doing fine. 13 pounds of orange furred fury and muscle. Humuculus was put on anti anxiety pills. She stares at imaginary flying mice now. When we forget to give her a pill, she reminds us by pooping on the living room floor, stupid little bitch! Today I am recovering from the overnight I did at work on Monday night. We moved a couple of the sections around in the store. I went back to work 5 hours after I got home. When I finished and made it home, I took a Nytol which didn't kick in for two hours. Needless to say, all day today, I was a walking zombie. On the brighter note, I was only frustrated when I couldn't remember my name!

I'm gonna hold of from Iraq memories tonight to touch on what's going on about the troop withdrawal that's planned. I heard something that made since. The issue now is not whether we should have started the invasion, but how do we fix what we fucked up. Yes, we all fucked up. Whether we were bandwagon jumpers, neutral, or opposers, we fucked up. Basically, nobody had a better idea. The majority idea became the lesser of three evils. Just because it's a popular choice didn't mean it was right or better. So, how do we get out of this. Listen up America, there is no easy way out.

Reducing or cutting of money to aid the troops in Iraq is damn sure not the way to end the war. What? We're just gonna let the money run out so when it's gone and there is no supplies, ammo, vehicles, etc we pull everyone out? Stop. No food, fuel, medicine, water, and bullets. The troops will suffer. You know what happens when funding is cut. Morality items are cut. Internet, phones, hot meals, warm showers, and mail go away or are severely limited. Because the money that remains will go to MREs (meal in a bag), fuel for vehicles (Humvees, tanks, Strykers, trucks, etc), ammo, and necessity medical supplies and meds. These are the bare minimals. Guess what else will lose funding. Veteran's Affairs. So everyone that was, has, and will be injured or worse will suffer for the rest of their lives. Not just for one year. Until they die! Who wants that on their conscience? It doesn't matter if they shouldn't have been there. They have been, are, and will be there. Deal. Let's come up with something better, America. Let's get on the ball, and stop fucking up. Maybe we can still gain some respect from the international community and ourselves.


If a man lives a pure life
nothing can destroy him;
If he has conquered greed
nothing can limit his freedom.

--Buddha

Lady Yokai