Good Evening!

For the second day in a row, our computer server was down at work. So another minor an temporary lack of technology. Today, we couldn't use our book master services (searching, ordering, or promotion lists). The first hour wasn't so bad because there was very few people in needing help. After another half an hour, we were back on track.

No one too annoying in today, except one woman that needed 10 copies of Mark Twain's Connecticut Yankee in King Aurthur's Court. I found 4 copies. Unfortunately, three were not the edition she wanted. So not being able to order the needed quantity, she said very huffy to me, "So how do you expect to run a proper retail business if your system is faulty?" I wanted to tell her I don't run the business, I just work here for a pinch over minimum wage. Thank you for painfully bringing that up Ms. I make way more than you so I think I-have-the-right-to -criticize-you- employment-and-the-company-you-work-for." What really goes on in the minds of these people?

More craziness. I thought I left all the bible luggers, tree huggers, no leg hair shaving women, and purse-carrying-pantie-wearing men in extreme liberal to the point of conservative Washington State. I was wrong. Welcome to the home of bible totting, tree fucking, plaid shirt/sandal and sock wearing women, and I'm proud to have a man-gina men. Western Massachusetts. There is a point were being against the mainstream is the mainstream, and honey, this is the place were the rubber meets the road on that.

I know that this is not happening just here, but there is a group of parents in this area, that are boycotting Harry Potter Movies because the kid that plays Harry Potter (Dan Radcliff) is performing in a play that only in LONDON where he has a nude sequence. Okay, he is in London. Unless you are taking your kids there to see this play, what the fuck does it matter? Stop being ASSHOLES. How does this really affect your kids? Are we really that archaic? I'm gonna say it, disagree with me all you want. I think everyone is entitled to there own beliefs, but, some people are raised with these set in stone values that aren't even applicable now. Just because in the 60's and 70's your parents wouldn't let you, grow a nut sack. This is a different age with things that we have discovered aren't bad. They are as times, different. If you are afraid of wizards, dragons, and witches. You have serious issues. See a shrink, dipwad. You are fucking crazy. Harry Potter is a set children's books. There are no beheading, no pictures of child birth or sperm, no cross burning, no concentration camps, no Grendel, no Romeo and Juliet, no Injun Joe, wait let me stop, before these same assholes decide they want to ban more literary classics. And just to put it out there for my favorite group of lunatics the Christian fanatics: the bible is all rosy and rate G or PG. There is some serious shit in there, but I guess that okay. It's Harry Potter that's the real issue, and in this case, it's the actor who is doing something not affiliated with the books or the movies that's the problem. Oh yeah, real fucking rational. Morons.

So on to something for the crazies to be upset with. I watched House of 1,000 Corpses and Devil's Rejects this weekend. I can't even describe them. Let's just say, they were what I expected from Rob Zombie. You gotta check 'em out if you have a will of steel.

Hubby and I were invited to go to dinner of Friday. It's at a restaurant I wanted to go to since we got here. The answer from Hubby was: I've been before, and in high school on Friday's, they would serve us steak from there, so I don't really need to go. Besides, people only go there for the shows." Which in Hubby language means, "No honey. I don't want to go." The problem with moving to a new place by yourself is everyone has done everything and nobody wants to do anything with you because they've already done it. The dinner is for the woman that spread that wonderful piece of info about the not come back to my Hubby's office. I've been avoiding her since that shit came to light. I figured it was just better. I never told Hubby that I was avoiding her, and now I have to go to dinner with her. Oh, today's her birthday. I didn't get her anything. Maybe I'll pick up a card tomorrow. You know. So I don't look like a total asshole/bitch. Great. The web we weave ourselves. Pff. Hubby told me to call and wish her a Happy Birthday. I choose not to. I told him, I just didn't get around to it. By the way. She and her husband are still working at the company they were just dying to get away from. Funny.

Hub's birthday is tomorrow, which means I need to wrap his gifts tonight. Nothing fancy. I bought him a new incense burner since his old one has seen better days, and a cell phone holder in the form of a western style dragon. He loves western style dragons, and the incense burner is black with skulls all over it. I'm sure he'll like them. I also scheduled him a deep tissue massage with my friend from work. Hey, she's a licensed massage therapist and she's doing it at her office. Get your minds outta the gutter. Freaks.

So, I need to eat dinner, then start back making my plans to rule the world.

Nite!

To understand everything is to forgive everything
--Buddha

Yokai

What the hell am I listening too?

Hey Everybody!!!

Today is the day that PC owners have been waiting on. The release of Windows Vista. Yea!!! After 3 years, Microsoft finally has an upgrade to Windows XP. Unfortunately, I just saw the MAC commercial that rips on PCs for needing to upgrade and possible losing all of their stored info in the upgrade. Leave it to MAC to waste no time in trying to bash the new system. At least the commercials are funny.

Of course, the poor person who owns this blog will not be upgrading. Can't afford it.

Something I always bitch about, but never rant about on this site is the music that is played in our store during business hours. Today, I think they started off the day with the new CD from Celtic Woman, which was released today. Dear Goddess!!!! Oh it gets so much worse. The CD I hate the most is the remake of the Beetles best hits. It sounds like the songs are sang by the cast of the "Barney, the purple dinosaur" show, but it is supposedly the Beetles, and these remixes apparently were very popular when they were played during performances of Cirque du Soleil and has a Las Vegas show built around this catastrophe. I personally hate the "Happy Birthday Song" and "All Together Now," or whatever the hell they names are songs. Geez, it sounds like sick cats begging to be put out of their misery by being eaten alive by cockroaches!

So, I must go. House is about to come on.

If you know your own limits
and try to stay within these limits,
you are free.

Swami Prajnanpad

Yokai Kifujin

The Day was slow, until I faced the Pancetta Meatloaf. Bring it on!!!

G'day Mates!!!

Your favorite demon is sitting here enjoying a cup of french vanilla yogurt in the quasi nude (Okay, you got me. Only one shoe is off) typing at ya.

I have a couple of minutes before my Pancetta Meatloaf is done. I saw this recipe on Everyday Italian, hosted by Giada De Laurentiis. The recipe seemed simple enough, and I figured since I had never had meatloaf before, why not start with my own. I must say, the wrapping of the pancetta-lined parchment paper, started to kick my ass, so I called in reinforcements. Hubby tried wrapping it, got frustrated and started screaming, "I am a Jedi," as he danced in his underpants. Me I just cried on the inside. Between the both of us, we got the devil paper wrapped and in the oven to bake. So if you are curious, I'll give you the recipe or you can check it out here:

Pancetta Meatloaf Sandwiches

I hope yours is less stressful than mine. Game, set, and match to the Meatloaf!

Today was a very slow day at work. Except for this little tid bit of annoyance. I had three callers today asking for this "soon-to-be" best selling book called, Something Better, by Andrea Pitts. I'm sure this woman exists, and that this book does too, but if I have been on the phone with you for half an hour, and I'm at the point where I am casting spells to pull a book at of our bookstore's ass, we don't have it. For the 15Th time, we don't have it. Stop it. And no for the 14Th time, we can't order it. It does not come up in the system at all. So here is a memo, if you are ever in doubt, grab the ISBN. This is what I call the "Super Code." Any item can usually be found by enter in this sequence of numbers. If you don't have that, well, hope you've got a lucky rabbit's foot.

I found out later, that the author and her publishers only do private releases. Basically, she chooses where and how many of her books are sold

Props to Rob Zombie and his two Gore and his thriller movies. This weekend, courtesy of Blockbuster online, We watched Illusionist, Madagascar, Devil's Rejects, Idiocracy, and Accepted. All we have left is House of a 1,000 Corpses, and Ice Age the Meltdown (borrowed from his parents).

My Meatloaf is done. I am going to take it out of the oven, and feed my two legged Saint Bernard who thought it was smart to shave his head. Especially since it has been an average of about 25 degrees everyday.


Good night!!!! Wow, Hubby is so proud of that bald head.

Fearlessness is the first requirement of spirituality.
Cowards can never be moral.

Mahatma Gandhi

Yokai

Can't you cats play on/with your own stuff!!!!! What do you think this is? Cats Gone Wild!!

Hello Everyone!!!

I am playing around with pics. So I thought I would showcase my babies tonight. Yes. Laurel (the big white cat in the net laundry hamper) is dangerously close to my thongs!!! I don't know why but undies (Hubby's and mine) give the cats a sense of calm. Like it was freaking Opium or something! You have no idea. They get a new toy every week. We give them boxes because they take ours. We are working on building them another tower, and I saw one at PETCO I want to get for them ($145) ... someday. They really love playing on things and in places they have no friggin' buisness. Bad kitties!

I am starting this entry here at home, and then I will work on it some more at Hubby's office. He is staying late to help prepare the office for tax season. So, I will go and help him out tonight. More like I got coerced into doing this I think. I was have asleep when I spoke to him. I did manage to tell him I have to feed the babies first. After that, I'll be hitting the road.

Stay tuned....

3 1/2 hours later, and I'm still here. I did a lot of input work. Total snooze work is what I call it. There was no music, no one to talk to, and no My name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, or 30 Rock. Not to mention, no CSI. It was suppose to be good tonight, but I might swear it off since Grissom is gone. Off fulfilling his mission of being a Catholic priest. I guess it was bound to happen. Somebody would have to leave the show soon. It has been on the air for at least six years. Bummer. So It's just me and Bartholomew my trusty plush T-Rex. Hey, don't laugh. He held the papers and keep them separated. I have a whole work crew: Azumi the Raptor, Sakura the black Dragon, Orange the Teddy, Rip and Torn the two headed Cat, Barnelby the red dragon, and of Course the Sesshomaru twins. Yep, I'm crazy. Officially. Thanks for holding in the laughter.

Today at work was Paranormal Romance day. All those Vampire, Werewolf, Psychic, Dragon romance novels that came in before Halloween in full affect are now being returned/shredded. That means, the next one I have to pay for will be Ms. Katie MacAlister's book. Yeah. I also helped a couple of people out in the Microsoft section today. I think there should be a disclaimer on computers : "Buyer be ware. You will need to either remember or store in a safe place the names and versions of the software and hardware you purchase/run on your computer for future issues." Swear to the gods. People came in looking for a book about their computers and had no idea whether they had a MAC or PC, whether they were running Windows or Linux. They didn't even know what the hell the applications were called they were looking for. They just knew when the turned there computers on, they could type a letter. One woman couldn't even tell me what logos popped up on her computer when it started, or clicked on, or even on the actual computer case. Clueless.

Honestly I think there should be hunting seasons for humans. The weakest many not survive. Just thinning out the herds a bit. Come on. I can't be the only one that has had this thought cross her mind. You know, the asshole drivers, the elderly who somehow still believe it's still 1952, the people that enter the wrong way at the gas station, the bitchy kids and their arrogant parents, those hypochondriacs, the people that spend 25 dollars at the grocery store and try to use $30 worth of discount coupons at the store, but over half are expired, etc. But it would be a "nothing goes to waste" effort. The slaughtered Darwin victims would be grounded, filleted, cubed, whatever you want, and fed/provided to the starving people of the world. I mean how totally awesome would that be. Don't be offended. This happens in nature all the time. Watch National Geographic, you'll see. Lionesses do it gazelles and impalas everyday.

Back home again.

So, I am feeling Eve's punishment heavy. I'm gonna call it a night. My send off is from a guy that works at Hubby's Real Estate Office. He wanted to see this online, and I said, "Sure. I'll hook this up for ya!

The true definition of "Shit Happens" is reading the obituaries one day, and finding out that someone died from being run over/hit by a Septic or Manure truck.

Yokai Kifujin

Big freaking apology!!!

I am so sorry about the last entry.

I use Mozilla Fire Fox on my computer here at home, because I think it works a heckuva lot better than Internet Explorer on most things I use online. At Hubby's office, they only have Internet Explorer. So I had to do a lot of repairs when I got back here at home.

Sorry guys, all better now!

Wuv ya,

Lady Yokai

It was a good day! See, I'm smiling!!!

Hello Everyone!!!!!!!

Let me explain this pic. I promised someone at work I would post a pic of me in a STRYKER. Sorry. All the interior photos, someone else has. So this is me hanging out of one of the hatches in Avgani, Iraq. I was an Air Guard, which means I was the dudette with the rifle making sure no one gets too close to the STRYKER or the guys on the ground. Hey, no heckles. It was fun, but it sure gets cold when that bad boy is going 50 miles an hour! I feel like a buster. Here I am talking about anonymity, and there I go putting a full facial on this blog. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell no one what I look like! ;)

So today, I am happy to report that last night I finished Christopher Moore's You Suck (A love Story). It was a love story of our time. With a true love ending. One of those that if you are a die hard romantic, you will totally love. I don't know how I feel about it. I guess considering all the factors, I wouldn't wanted it to end any other way. True Romeo and Juliet stuff with undead. Sort of. Gotta read it, peeps. There's even an appearance of a yellow velour track suit. For realz. So now I am continuing with the Nora Roberts' book which is finally picking up speed.

At work today, I was handed a Gift Program Guidebook Cert. and practice exam. Needless to say, the last hour and 1/2 of my shift, I was organizing and labelling. I was so rattled at the end of my day, I completely left my name tag at work and Sexy Lexy's number at work. Yes, enter Sexy Lexy. Of course, her name isn't that. Alias, people. Here initials are S.L. so Sexy Lexy. It does fit her, plus she is a tattooed rock chic. So that makes her completely cool. She came in today as I was clocking out (30 minutes late) and dropped off her her cell number. She said,"Hey girl, we need to go out drinking. I want to see you shitfaced!!!!" So I'm like hell yeah, mother trucker!!! But I digress, I was so frazzled at the end of my shift, I left my name tag and her number, I'm such a dork. I hope she calls. She said she is coming in Friday. Fingers crossed!!!!

I am drinking cup after cup Honey Vanilla Chamomile Tea. Can you guess? Cramps! The quickest cure other than Midol with Alieve is Chamomile Tea. In fact, Chamomile Tea is not only good for pain, it's a great sleep aid and mood calmer. Take with honey,I usually take it with a packet of splenda or a spoonful of french vanilla creamer, it's great on those lazy days when you don't want a caffeine jitter.

Right now, I am just hanging out at Hubby's office. He spent all day on the road with his father. He left his car at home. So when I came in, I parked behind him. So I ended up taking him back to his office. So instead of doing the musical chairs game with our cars later, I decided to take him to work in my car. So here I am writing to you guys. I know, I love you guys too.

Heroes is back on tonight. Don't miss it. Here's my send off:

Yes, no. Maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

You're not the boss of me now,

you're not the boss of me now

You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.

You're not the boss of me now,

you're not the boss of me now

You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
Life is unfair . . .

Boss of Me (as Heard on Malcolm in the Middle) by They Might Be Giants

Yokai

All along the watchtower

Greetings my friends.

Today came and went as if it were a breeze slight, but not worth noticing. Unless, you were caving, and then you would so be looking for the wind. Not much happened in the life of Yokai or her mild mannered alter ego. Yep, I even laughed at the two people that pissed me off at work yesterday.

The first was a man who saw an algebra book he needed on line. The sight referred him to our bookstore. So Instead of checking the online store, he jumped in his car, and headed over. He asked me if we had the book in the store. I told him we didn't carry the book in our store or our warehouse. He became absolutely furious with me. He told me the website he was looking at said our store would have it. So I checked the online store. It was there. It was an available online only book. I tried to explain to him, but he didn't seem to understand that concept. He then told me I wasn't working hard enough for my $7.25 an hour. That truly upset me. I wanted to tell him that I make $7.75 an hour. But, I figured any wit I had would be wasted on such a miserable creature.

The second customer called on the phone. She wanted a religious fiction book by a priest. So when I got the name of the book, I looked under the title. No luck. I checked online. No luck. So I asked for the authors name again. She told me that she had given my that info when I answered the phone, and that I was a moron. So I politely asked again. She emphasised on the "Father" part of the guys name. Again, nothing under that name. So I tried searching with out the "Father," and I got 27 hits. I told the lady and she said again, "IT'S FATHER! GET IT RIGHT! NO WONDER YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING!" So, I told her that he wasn't listed in our system, and it didn't appear that we carried his books. She then went on about a two minute rant about how our store does not cater to it's projected area, and how discriminated Catholics and Christians are. I politely listened, then told her I would research the issue and address it to management. She seemed somewhat appeased. Whatever.

I love Mooey. Mooey is my lovable large Ragamuffin cat. He's the alarm clock I mention from time to time. Every morning, he lets me know it's time to get up. Not so much to start my day, but to start his. Breakfast, litter box check, water check, treats check, fluff the Ming blanket check, prep his castle/cat tower, open all important curtains, and kiss him goodbye. So on my lovely Saturday morning, I found myself up at six AM with a howling 18 pound cat on my chest. In between the meows, moos, and meeps, he would take time to lick my nose. 15 minutes into his cock-a-doodle-doos, Maxx the orange tom cat, begins to lick my face. 5 minutes later, I'm dishing out breakfast. I go back to bed only to be awakened by Mooey letting me know it's time for Pilate's. Gotta love Alarm cats. You think you life sucks. Try giving up weekends because you have a bossy cat. By the way, that was Mooey's indulgence for the week.

Today I got to hear two versions of one of my most favorite songs: All Along the Watchtower. Version 1: the Man: Jimi Hendrix. I truly believe his birthday should be a National Holiday. Version 2: Dave Matthews Band. DMB's version is dramatic,sweeping, and climatic. Jimi's, whoa. Pure genius. It's powerful, charged with emotion, and cinematic. Jimi's is like listening to poetry and seeing people act it out in front of ya.

The song is great. If you aren't familiar with the song, it was written by the folk-rock artist, Bob Dylan. He is greatness in his own right. Not personally a fan, but he does have a huge following. It is about a conversion between two: a thief and a joker. The are discussing problems in life and how others are not taking life seriously. The end of the song hints either towards morality or ( what I think) change in society. The watchtower is where the men are watching from. Even greater than that, where anyone who is aware is watching from. The song is believed by some to be a subtle biblical reference to the Apocalypse. Take it for what you will. I just think it is a work of art.

Yea!! We got snow. The first snow of the winter was on Thursday night. It was only a dusting. The temp has plummeted into the teens since. Welcome to winter, New England, finally.

So that's all I got. My final indulgence for the week will be bad action/horror movies. I watched Chain Saw Massacre: The Beginning and The Decent last night. Tonight, I think I'll pick something off my shelf. Maybe some Stephen King. I also have to watch Miami Vice. I'll let you know about that one.

So adieu. I got two send offs for ya tonight. The first is from All along the Watchtower.

No reason to get excited The thief he kindly spoke There are many here among us Who feel that life is but a joke but uh But you and I we've been through that And this is not our fate So let us not talk falsely now The hours getting late

All along the watchtower Princes kept the view While all the women came and went Bare-foot servants to, but huh Outside in the cold distance A wild cat did growl Two riders were approachin And the wind began to howl

(All Along the Watchtower--Jimi Hendrix's cover)

To know the road ahead,
ask those coming back.

--Chinese proverb.

Yokai

Welcome to my inner thoughts.

Hi all!

I decided to take a break from the normal course of bitching and moaning I usually do to reintroduce this blog.

While today I did get two people ask for the "red book" we sell in our store, (Seriously. That's what they asked for.) and the two rude women who were fucked up enough to take Christmas cards of a cart I was pushing during the cards relocation and placed them on a shelf they passed in bargain. I mean really. That wasn't were they got the fucking cards from in the first place. Oh, and then they had the nerve to bitch because even though the cards are 75% off list price, they felt they were paying way too much for "after Christmas scraps." WTF!!!!!! I am going to give the nitty gritty, down and dirty explanation for why I decided to start this blog.

First of all, I guess this really isn't the typical blog. I guess it's more of an online journal for me. I don't show a lot of links or ironic pics that I found from hours of Internet surfing. This is my therapy. I think I've said that a bunch, but for everyone that's missed it, think of this blog as my mute shrink. It is also my closest friend at the time. I share secrets, and it doesn't blab. We have a great relationship. So, online journal, got it?

I come here so I can vent through my alter ego, Yokai. The name is Japanese for demon, apparition, spirit, pissed of mythical creature, and so on. My full name is Yokai Kifujin, which you'll see me sign with at the end from time to time. Rough translation: Lady Evil Spirit ( evil is kinda implied with demons) or even rougher: Demon Lady. A perfect name for a person that chokes back on all the bad, horrible, disgusting, frustrating, and saddening things she encounters. Of course, with pain there has to be a bit of pleasure, so there are good thing spoken of here. It can't always rain.

Yokai Kifujin or Demon Lady as an appropriate name. Call me Yokai. No need for formalities here. So I scream, swear, and cry here. On occasions, I smile. There is no taboo topics here. Once you enter this site, kiss, prudence bye-bye. But there is anonymity. It's just not cool to blast someone out like that. Now, if you can decipher and pick yourself out, the guilt or pleasure has gotten to ya. Or, it's a subject worth you remembering; good or bad. Anyway that's on you to determine.

If you don't like what I'm saying, you don't have to come back. You can even post your feelings. Free country for now. I will probably send you a response. It's nothing personal. I respect all my readers.

So welcome to the dank and dark, gloom and doom, with a slight forecast of giggles, and hell yeahs. Wait, if you don't like or can stomach Lord Sesshomaru, the hottest and most awesome animae/manga character ever, well you need to leave and never come back to this blog again.

My indulgence fore the day, Dove milk chocolate bars and toasted honey cereal!!!!! Oh, I had to hot cherry pies from McDonald's. So I worked out for an hour to make up for it. Also, an indulgence. Now I'm off to eat more cereal and start the movie, Road to Guantanamo Bay. I just finished House of Flying Daggers, it was awesome. It was much better than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

I got a big send off tonight. Enjoy:

Nature us forever giving us chance after chance
at what we call rebirth and death, and we, in
our folly, in our fear of death, fail to understand
that which represents a new journey,
a new pate on which to write, and thus to
believe in a new beginning for ourselves

--Shri Parthasarathi Rajagopalachari

Demon Lady

Sugar and Salt

Good evening my friends!

Before this new installation of gloom starts, I want to say some happy first: The new Aisling Grey novel, Holy Smokes, will be coming out in November. Yeah! Princess L and R will be visiting in April. They are off in Iraq doing important things, so we can sleep safely. If you see them, give them a hug. NCIS is back off of hiatus. New episodes. Finally. At least one of my shows is back. Make that two. Criminal Minds. I finally bought the 2 part of the sixth season of Sex and the City. I put off watching this because I didn't want to accept the end of that show. This show aided in my maturing as a woman. I just didn't want to let it go. So I accepted the show is in rerun hell now, so I might as well buy it, watch it, and add to my collection.

Now with the unhappy:

I didn't get the lead position at work. Oh well. I don't think I truly wanted it enough. It's a lot of work and hours, but that's not what was the hold up. I just really didn't want to deal with the hopeless souls that stagger aimlessly around the self-help section for 8 hours a day. Tomorrow I guess I'll find out who got it. Probably someone who has been there for years, but was overlooked the majority of the time. So I still have my gift and audio book sections. Probably because those are the two bastard sections that nobody wants. Doesn't matter. I love doing it, and at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

I am still unresolved on the issue from yesterday. There is no closure, and I don't think there will be. I hate unresolved issues. I decided that a mental retreat is necessary. Not that I'm running, I'm just take 3 steps back to eventually take 4 forward. I don't know why she would betray my trust. Can it be the stereotypical/biblical view that women are just not to be trusted? The devil did tempt Eve because he knew he could. I'm totally afraid of backstabbing. Wiccan Reade is totally against being shifty. The rule of three is a bitch. So I don't know if Christian fear retribution like Wiccans, maybe hell is not as bad as being punished in thrice. Whatever the reason, I'm hoping it was a necessary evil for her. And that she racked her brain before she opened her mouth. I can only hope it helped her accomplish whatever she needed to get done, and that the act was not in vain.

For me, this is a lesson I know all too well. I have not learned my lesson. This time I like to think that I have. I will never trust again. So here I am. Alone again. My only comfort is what's in this house: My cats, my wits, my husband (when it suits him), and my soul. The sick thing is this blog has been the best friend I have had in a while. It listens and never judges me.

If anyone knows how to keep your time savvy cat from chiming at times he deems important, please let me know. He's starting to wake me up 6 minutes early now.

So yesterday, I indulged in self loathing and frustration. Today, Family Guy. Lotsa Family Guy.

The week's not over. Keep poisoning yourself, my friends.

Criminal Minds is on. Gotta go. Here's my send off:

On "NCIS" last night the term MOAS came from the mind of Abby.
M-mother
O-of
A-all
S-secrets

This secret is so huge, it consumes you. You are constantly hiding it, but begging to tell someone before you explode. So you finally confide in the one person you thought you could trust. So much for that naive thought. Somehow, it has leaked and has destroyed your life. MOASes always do. They are just too juicy for anyone to keep them quite.


Yokai Kifujin

http://thirdprong.blogspot.com/
Check out my dawg's blog: Crackerjacked!!!

Send my mail to 3rd house on the left in the Pit of Despair

Good evening!

I decided to use this pic of InuYasha. I feel like he looks. Kinda lost in thought, maybe in a bit of despair, and pondering his situation. I am all of these today. Not to mention I Nair-ed my arm pits to night. Instead of soft, smooth, and hairless skin, I received the infamous red, inflamed, and chemical burned pits I am so accustomed to. At least they're hairless. Thank goodness for small miracles. Beauty sucks.

I know what you're thinking. "So what's wrong with Ms. Doom and Gloom this time?" As everyone who has been following this blog knows, I don't have very many friends within the state boundary lines of Massachusetts. In fact, it would seem to be none with the exception of some really nice people I met at work. I guess they would be more of the work associates that I enjoy spending time with, but a few of them I have managed to be able to share and receive with. I even went to one's home and had tea with. I'll talk more about that a little later. Other than that, no one really.

I woman who worked with Hubby at his real estate office I do socialize with. Her and her husband moved to another office to get a different pace in the rat race. Their office is on the way home about 3 blocks away from my house, so I stop in weekly to gab and to hang out. Sometimes, I even get invited to outings and parties. She's great to talk to. Like having a girlfriend, we gossip, talk about our careers or jobs, discuss problems, and give advice. Today Hubby came home a little disturbed.

So if you have been following this blog, you pretty much know there really isn't too many times his not disturbed when he gets home. Always frustration with work, our finances, home life, and/or health to cloud his mind and make him the slightly unpleasant person when arriving home. Tonight, he received word that he may have caused complications at work. Somehow rumors have flown as the usually do from one side of the earth to the other. Something he is accused of saying may have dissuaded the woman I socialize and her husband to not come back to Hubby's office. The couple had confessed that they were unhappy with their work situation, but we unsure of what to do to resolve it. They had several options; one was to come back to Hubby's office. They were do to make a decision, inform everyone concerned, and be at their new place of work by Monday (yesterday). No one has heard from them. Rumor has it something I told them that Hubby said made them feel unwanted and begging for their old jobs back. It is amazing what happens when you trust people. They use it has the dagger to stab you with after you have hugged them and are walking away from them.

I don't know how some many people would have known about this or why/how this leaked out. I guess "leaked" is the appropriate word considering it is filthy, disheartening, and deceitful. But then again, so are rotten bananas. I hate those. Back to my point. I kinda want to confront her about this, but what do I have to gain? I guess I may find out a why, a how, and a when, but does that really ease the pain? I mean knowing full well that Hubby and I aren't seeing eye to eye as much as we should, why would she want to cause more harm. Maybe it's Ian Malcolm's chaos theory. The worst part is the clan that I am a new member of values privacy. The secrecy of this family allows nothing to hit the light. Good or bad. Everything is covered in haze like dusk or dawn. So bringing any attention (especially bad such as the wife the blabs negative things said by her husband concerning work[the same occupation that wifey does not like and does not wish to be apart of {turning her nose up} but everyone else in the family is doing like it is expected) is just not a smart thing to do.

Here I am. 3rd house on the left in the Pit of Despair. Finding anything else out with this family is going to be even harder. What little trust I've earned is gone. Thanks so much to the woman I thought was my friend.

As you can guess, I didn't indulge much today. I worked out, I had a serving of banana low fat yogurt, I painted my toe and finger nails. That's it. I really wanted to start reading the book I borrowed from work today. It's called You Suck, by Christopher Moore. Mr Moore is the same guy who wrote Stupidest Angel and Lamb. This book is about a married vampire couple. It should be a quick and easy read.

About the lady's house I went over on Sunday. We'll call her Crystal. She's very much into New Age which is probably why I get along with her so well. She's a couple of months younger than me, so finally someone close to my age. I enjoyed my afternoon with her. We drank Celestial Seasonings teas. I had an almond one. We sat and talked about men, dreams, goals, and plain old, so-called life. It was great. Unfortunately, I didn't stay long. I got nervous , and felt like I was over staying my welcome. So I excused my self after about an hour and a half. Today at work I apologized to her for my anxiousness and my leaving. She was cool about it and wasn't offended. She just said we would have to do it again soon. So we giggled and then scurried of to work, trying to look like we were engaged with a lengthy task. It's kinda discouraged to socialize on the clock, and especially on the book floor.

So with much pain, I'm gonna sign out for the night. Enjoy my send off:

Health, contentment and trust
are your greatest possessions,
And freedom your greatest joy.

--The Dhammapada

“We draw our strength

from the very despair in which we have been forced to live.

We shall endure.”

--Cesar Chavez

Lady Yokai

Pick your poison. Go ahead.

Good Evening friends,

I hope everyone had a wonderful Dr King observance day. I worked. Well, what else was I gonna do? Okay, sleeping was an option, but Hubby had the day off which means if he doesn't lounge, I can't lounge.

Today I decided to pick a poison everyday this week and exploit it. I encourage you all to join in, and maybe we can make it a national event. You know, kinda like 4/20, but longer and much more fun. A poison as state by me, Yokai, is any indulgence that is too sinful for you to do on a regular and/or average basis. That's right, step up weekend warriors this is your week. Today, Yokai is serving baked pork simmering in it's own juices with apples and onions and exploiting today's poison: Jack Daniels!!!! It's gonna be a jolly time at the demon dinner table! Of course, all week I'll be indulging in my love of Lord Sesshomaru, so thanks to the world of Sesshomaru fans who have a plethora of Sesshomaru in very stimulating poses. Oh also, I'm drinking Pear-white tea in a crazy amount while looking at hot pics of Lord Fluffy. So good!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't thought of what tomorrow will be. I'm thinking of coming home, totally skipping my workout and going directly into my skanky nightwear and reading some brain candy (romance novels) all evening while wolfing down pints of low fat blueberry yogurt. I'm completely salivating! This almost sounds kinky :)!!!


So I put my name in the running for a lead position at work. I don't think I will get it. I got a orientation and tour of the area and the book subjects, and as much as I would love the chance for the experience, I'm just not feeling going to those zones. I actually hate going to those areas with customers because it takes 3 times longer in those sections than any other section to include ordering a book or ringing a customer up. I really like the section I work in. Sometimes it can be overwhelming especially with the cut back in hours, but, I get an awesome blend of dealing with customers (idiots included) cashiering, information desk, and zone coverage. Gift is my love in the store. I just wish I could have a lead position in it. Oh well. I guess patience is a virtue. Oh, all those nasty Sudoku books that plagued me and the receivers; going back to the vendors! Hell yeah!!!!

Hubby's getting drunk!!! Maybe I'll fix Lemon drops after this!!!

So I think I have picked up one or two more viewers. Howdy Y'all!!!! Welcome to The rant of Yokai. Thanks for stopping by!

Oh, if anyone from the ATL is reading this, please slap my brother if he starts a food fight at school tomorrow. He's already on probation, I really would like him not to end up a male prostitute because he has no other recourse in life.

Well, I'm gonna go get my healthy dose of poison for the night.

What doesn't kill us makes us... (you fill in the blank!)

“This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun, and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence towards the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men; go freely with the powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and mothers, of families: read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life: re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books, and dismiss whatever insults your soul.”

Walt Whitman quotes ( Poet, 1819-1892)

Yokai Kifujin

TGIF

Hi everyone!

At last it's Friday. I dunno if that makes me feel better, but at least I get two days to veg. Actually, I got my first invite to some one's house for tea. This is the first person from Massachusetts in the year and a month that I've been here that actually wants to spend time with me. I'm really kinda nervous. It's been a while since I had a friend that I made on my own. So hopefully tomorrow, I will be chatting away drinking herbal tea.

Yea! My specially ordered sink top came in today. It is a white marble-like top with silver speckles. So we can just put that aside because I have no idea when our bathroom project is going to resume. It will be interesting. We are taking out a line of credit to help finish off the bathroom. So when the appraiser comes we have to explain why our house has a half-ass functioning bathroom.

The line a credit lit a fire under some one's bum so finally our taxes for 2005 are finally complete. With this comes a ray of sunshine. I can now apply for a Sallie Mae loan for massage school. It seems kinda stupid to take out a $25oo loan, but I can fill all of this info out this weekend and have my application for school in the mail on Monday. My other option is one that I didn't want to do, but depending on how the next couple of weeks go, I will decide.

I'm kinda thinking about going into the Air Guard. The good thing is that there is an opening locally for counterintelligence specialist. So being that that was my MOS in the Army, I hope I could some how worm my way into that and have less schooling or cut something somewhere. I also don't know where it would land me rank wise, because in essence, it's all about the Bennies. Also, I would get at least $20,000 for school, which would be the biggest reason to join. Bad points: having to pick up another rifle, being in the armed forces again, having to wear BDU/ACUs again, trying to figure out what to do with my tongue ring, crotch piercing, and Afro, and finally, it's the armed forces--national servitude--again. I said I was DONE when I left Ft. Lewis. I would hate for everyone to think I ate my words.


So that's where I am now. Pondering what to do next. I need some independence from my marriage, from this state, from my own state of mind. I need to be responsible for something. You know, feel like I matter. So I would like any advice from anyone out there, but I guess when it comes down to it, it's all on me.

TGIF

For the remaining part of the day, the only thing that truly matters is just living la vida loca, and enjoying a nice cool appletini. Have one on me.

Have a great Friday Night,

The answer to What 1 syllable three letter word would make make a 3 syllable word when a letter is added to it: Are. (when you add an "a" it becomes "area.")

The closer tonight is from the great Robert Frost:

• And were an epitaph to be my story I'd have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world.

• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Yokai Kifujin

Happiness can be right around the corner.

Konban wa!

I am trying to increase my Japanese. I just said, "Good Evening."

Go ahead and say it. I suck. I just want to make it perfectly clear: "Life long learning goal." So I think I did good for the day.

Today was much better. I finished my tasks at work and got to listen to really cool Latin music in the process. The only absolutely crazy thing from work today was an impatient woman who asked for a 2008 business calender. After me telling her we only have 2007 calenders, and a very limited selection since we started selling them in October and we are down to the left overs, she very arrogantly said, " I don't see how your store stays in business. You never cater to your customers." And then she walked off asking for directions to the closest Office Max. Massachusetts has this weird habit of decimating more than one variety of businesses so Office Max became a victim of Staples. Meaning, the closest one is somewhere of the 91 in Connecticut. Oh well, happy driving mean lady.

So while I had a good day at work, coming home is always a disappointment. Coming home is like opening a warm can of reality. My small house with it's desecrated bathroom reminds me that again, we don't have the money right now to re, redo the bathroom, nor can we afford for me to attempt to improve our financial status or begin my much awaited career. It seems like another bump in the road. So I went to sleep. It seemed like the thing to do.

Maxx decided he was sick and tired of my moping, so he woke me up and meowed by my workout clothes. So I took the hint and returned to my strength workout. It felt good. Empowering. If nothing else happens, there is a chance I'll get that 4 pack by the summer.

Happiness is around the corner. I guess it's the little things that help you get through rough times. Whether it's a furry white cat that finally descends the attic stairs to be part of your world, a grateful customer, finding that corner of sunlight that makes you warm on a freezing cold day, or Crab Rangoons, sometimes being happy is just strategically placing little feel good things in your path. My feel good things are all of the ones above and watching the movie, American Psycho, for the second time in a row. Wow, Christian Bale is hot! So my fellow readers, place a feel good thing in your path tonight and tomorrow. It well make you smile.

That's all I got for ya. Hub's dinner is ready for him whenever he comes home. And I am going to watch Christian Bale and read the next chapter from Morrigan's Cross.

"If you like Pina Coladas And getting caught in the rain If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain If you'd like making love at midnight In the dunes on the Cape Then I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me and escape."

--Rupert Holmes, "Pina Colada

Yokai

Just living.

Hello my fellow blog readers!

I took yesterday off to calm the freak down. I was so upset about my seemingly dank life that I took some time to read a book, and finish it; The Road by Cormac McCarthy. You should totally read this. Post Apocalyptic sweetness. Also to finish the last couple of pages of Dean Koontz's Intensity. Another page turning must read. If you aren't a big reader, this one is good. It will keep you turning the pages, although, some of the parts concerning Chyna's experience can be a bit dry. Barrel through them or just skim and you'll be fine. Currently in the cue is Book one of Warriors and Morrigan's Cross.

Yesterday was the climax for this session of "Yokai, this is your So-called life." I don't want to go into details. Let's just say, it's over and I don't want to talk about it. All though, I did reminisce about some of the good ole' times I had in Europe. Hey if you get a chance to go to a place called, "The castle," in the Netherlands: don't think just go!!!! Just remember, you may not come out with or wearing what you went in with. Ain't life grand? I guess it can rain all the time.

Today, thanks to A display table at work the featured such titles as: Step by Step Guide to Pole dancing, Rec Sex, and Cosmo's 25 Top Sex Positions in Water ( in a waterproof book might I add), and the Beatles' greatest hits, I spent today in an lucid giggle. It was like I was huffing a mixture of glue and WD-40. I had the occasional, I'm looking for a book, the cover was yellow and I was watching Reggis and Kelly weren't you questions today, but even those couldn't bring down my high. I like to think of this moments in my life as mini eye of the storms.

For the first time in a while, I cooked dinner. Pork smothered in Italian spices and onions sauce topped with Romano cheese with two sides: Garlic buttered noodles and brussel sprouts. Gods I hate those things. Really? Are they even from Brussels, or are they just trying to be exotic? Anyway it doesn't matter. They taste like rotten babies' asses. Not that I know what that would taste like. Ew.

So what the hell happened to television? When the hell are the good shows coming back? Did we slip into a vortex of reruns and bullshit? And what the hell is Bush talking about tonight? The fuck with this. I'm going for a ride. I hate being bored.

I promise tomorrow, I'll have much more to say. Oh, to all my ladies out there: Bath and Body works. Sales galore. Go. No excuses!!!!!

It is necessary that we know with absolute
certainty that in essence we are spirit.

--Rabindranath Tagore

Yokai

Un-f-ing-believable!!!!

Hi everyone,

if anyone is even out there reading this,

I am having yet another suck-filled day. While I feel much better physically, I am having a serious downer. I'm sure nobody wants to here about my day, but I kinda have nowhere else to vent to so, I apologize deeply for the pity party.

So I am trying to adjust to the 3 less hours of work a day. After my medical and dental benefits take their chunk out of my pay, I make approximately 150 bucks a week. Scrumptious!!!! My last paycheck didn't even cover groceries. Wonderful. So although it's a nice break and I can catch up on my workouts and house work, the pay is so much nicer. But hey, the store has to make quota for hours per purchase or something like that. Of course, I'm not the only one hurting in the store. Some of the others that work in my time slot have take on their 2ND, 3rd, and even 4Th jobs to cover bills. We are all a bit unhappy right now. So if you are thinking about purchasing a book from a bookstore, be kind to the employees. We are all hurting right now.

Today marked the sixth week of our bathroom dilemma. Yep, no word from the guy doing our bathroom, a licensed contractor for the state of MA over the weekend. Today, he calls Hubby up to come over to work on the bathroom some time around 4pm. Yeah, not happening, Asshole. Shut down! You're FIRED, bitch!!! It's about goddamn time too. So after extorting us for approximately 1700 bucks plus materials, we have a bathroom that pretty much has to be re-gutted and started over again; minus the insulated walls, er, sheet rock. His demolition totally ruined our tub which we were planning to resurface. Now, we have to get a new tube. Not to mention our wood floors in the hallway need magic to get them beautiful again. The destruction is all over our house. Dust, dirt, wall fragments, metal pipes, nails, paint splotches, Auuuugghhh!!!! So yeah, we had the office contractor and his tile guy come over to give us estimates ( the guy we should have used from the get go.) Another at least 1200 bucks not including materials. I'm done. I don't think I can go through any more fucking rehab right now, but of course, our bathroom is inoperable, so don't have much of a choice. It' s gotta get done. So where in the hell are we getting the money for this? Dance with the devil. Remember, the devil don't change, you do.

So let's see: Lost 15 hours a week, extra $200 for Tribute payment, extra $180 for mortgage, $1200 plus materials ( between $300-$500) for bathroom, need $600 for to hold spot in Massage therapy school ASAP. Pff, as Strong Bad would say as he lifts his boxer gloved hands to expose the double deuces. (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html ) You have to check this out. Guys on my base in Tal Afar, IZ got me into this, and I love it!!!

So I don't know where it's going for me at this point. I'm so mad at myself for not being better off when I got out of the Army. I'm even madder that I didn't just say "Fuck it," and just went to Massage school without discussing it with Hubby. I just feel like I'm one of those paid actors ( without the pay) in a Devry Institute commercial. Stuck in civilian life limbo. I am just trapped it seems, I don't make enough to try to do better, and the more I work harder, the less gets accomplished. I can officially say, I think I am the most miserable I have ever been since I got to Massachusetts. I guess because it's been over a year and I see this sick pattern. Things get better, we do okay and even fine, and then when we breathe a sigh of relief the bottom drops out of the sky and we are in the middle of a field with no umbrella or cover. Out there just waiting for lightning to strike again and again.

The sick part is I don't think anyone here even gives a shit. Well, I know they don't. Civilian life tends to be a little more heartless than military. Hey, people get back stabbed in Wal-mart and Quicki marts. You know it's cut throat at that point. Even harder to except is among all of this added stress is my in-laws are taking yet another quarterly vacation.

So here is where Yokai gets to be herself and not hidden within the deep layers of caution of her alter ego. Yokai doesn't care if people go on vacation. That's fine and dandy. Wonderful, splendid, peace be with you have a nice freaking trip. Yokai hates when people go on vacation and have an excuse for it. The trip to New Orleans was pulled out of nowhere. Spur of the moment, if you will. Cool, but using the line, "She doesn't have much time left so we are going where ever she wants, when she wants," bothers me. A little bit of reality: we are all dying. Do any of us truly know when the bell will toll for us? Who can say that this is the last breath, or that one will expire in his or her sleep at 3:15am, 23 March 2014? Or how about much worse things, the people that kiss their families goodbye for the day at 8 am, and never return home? I don't like the dying thing as a reason. It bothers me. I think what truly bothered me more is that when asked if they needed any advise or sights to see, it was blown off. Keep in mind, these are the people that know absolutely nothing about my life. Nothing of my background, upbringing, hopes, aspirations, goals, or fears. People I work with now that have only known me for five months know more about me. Whatever.

So, I feel somewhat better. If you made it through all this, I'm glad you stuck with me. It makes me feel better to know someone out there can here my inner thoughts that are begging to be heard. Thanks a lot and good night.

Here's my send off:

We can never obtain peace
in the outer world until we
make peace with ourselves.

--Dalai Lama

Lady Yokai

Feeling better; sort of.

Hello. I'm feeling better; sort of.

Geez, I dunno what happened to me this week. I worked less hours, to find that I was so tired. My sinuses were going insane. I kept getting hot and cold flashes. I was getting headaches left and right. I was snippy and irritable. True craziness!!!! The climax was Friday. I think when I got home, I collapsed. I put on Chronicles of Riddick, which is the best thing to see when passing out I think, ( I will marry Vin Diesel one day!!!), and I woke up it was Saturday afternoon. I go for a ride with Hubby, pass out again, and it's Sunday evening. Whoa, being sick is like a time eater isn't it? I was so weak over the last couple of days. I felt like shit. I feel somewhat better now. I got my appetite back. Okay, going to Denny's is not the best idea after barely eating over a couple of days, but the fruit mixed drinks does quench the thirst.

So now that I'm in touch with reality, some things I just need to get out in the open so my inner demon will be appeased. I understand that nobody likes housework. Cleaning is just a pain. Got it. But when collapsing on Friday and seeing the kitchen in complete disarray, the laundry needing some attention, cats needing to be feed, vacuuming and moping desperately needed, come on. Is it too much to ask Hubby to realize I'm sick and can't get to it. Obviously the whole week I was having issues and it could easily be seen that I needed some help. Guess what I just finished doing. Vacuuming and moping the kitchen floor. Starting a load of dishes in the dish washer, and being so pissed that he managed to do nothing while I was sick, I almost vomited. He didn't even accomplish the work he needed to do over the weekend he was apparently so traumatized over hell freezing over and me getting sick, he just laid in bed with me the entire weekend. What the Fuck!!!!!!!!! So here I am this evening, half out of it, trying to make up for the week I didn't clean.

Somebody please tell me why I got married? I often have this thought: If I had of stayed single, where would I be now? Would I be happier? Would I be richer or poorer? Would I had made it to Prague? I don't think I would have my cats, so that would have sucked. Maybe I finally would have had awesome unspeakable sex with a rich European. Mayhaps. Instead, I'm here in New England, without a pot to piss in, watching all my dreams fade away, and no one to mourn me except my cats. Which deity did I piss off?

So the grind begins again. I apologize for a Sunday entry. I don't like to do much on Sundays, being it's the day of rest in the Christian faith. I'm feeling better and I was hearing voices in my head telling me to release the pressure valve so here I am. I wonder what this week will provide me for blogging entries? Hmph.

Awww. My pretty white kitty has a new boo-boo. Looks like she still has a claw embedded in side the cut. So let me get the first aid kit for her. (5 minutes later) So I removed the claw, stopped the bleeding, and applied Triple Antibiotic Ointment plus with pain relief. Yes, not only will Neosporin work for you it will also work for your furry friends too.

So I guess I will end this. I'm dragging with nothing worth while to say. I have some trivia from work I'm trying to solve. If you can figure it out:

What 1 syllable three letter word becomes a 3 syllable word when an extra letter is added to it?

Don't let your throat tighten
with fear. Take sips of breath
all day and night, before death
closes your mouth.

--Don't Let Your Throat Tighten
(January 7 entry from "Year with Rumi")

Yokai Kifujin

What a week!!!!

Wuz up fellow blog readers?????

Can you believe it? Today when I was awaken by alarm cat a 6:30 am it was already a balmy 65 degrees. Currently it is 72. Yes, welcome to Mass where if you hate cold winters, wait a couple of days and then you get Florida winter weather.

If I had been feeling better, I would have washed my car. I can only hope it's this nice tomorrow.

So, I have had a crappy week. The last three days I felt like total shit, which is why I didn't make any entries on this blog. Sorry guys. I could barely breathe let alone sit and type. I was rundown, head cold filled, and irritable. I was so out of it yesterday at work, I was offered as much extra time as I needed to finish a task, and after two hours, I gave up. So after getting a pretzel dog at the mall ( yes, I was totally out of it) and some how getting to a 75% off plush toy sale, I made it home and passed out. That was all she wrote. Somewhere around 10 pm. Hubby wanted to go to Starbucks and get a Green tea latte. Even in a ill state, I can't say no to one of those. Besides, the best thing to do when you are sick it to detoxify yourself.

I feel 60% better now. I'm still woozy and have a bit of sinus congestion, but most of the bug is gone. I never get sick, people. So when I do, it is a sign from the gods and goddesses that is time for me to SLOW DOWN. So heard the message I did.

Mostly the only thing I have to rant about this time is common courtesy. Regardless of who you are or what is going on, please remember your manners.

If you need help with something in a store, acknowledge the sales person and acknowledge you know that they are currently involved with something if it is obvious, like carrying a load of boxes, on the phone, helping another customer, or ringing another customer up. It is rude if you interfere, and it is probably going to slow everything down if you stop the salesperson involved. So patience is a virtue.

Sorry, maybe I'll feel a bit better later or tomorrow. I just don't have it in me to type more.
I promise, I'll make up for it. Maybe the warm weather outside will make me feel better.

I invested in an Eastern Philosophy mini desk calender, so from time to time, I will quote from it.

Sometimes, simply by sitting,
the soul collects wisdom.

--Zen saying

Type to ya later,

Yokai

Can I get a break?

Hey everyone,

As the title says, "Can I get a mother trucking break?!!!!?" I am so out of it, and so pissed at the world right now, I don't have any constructive bitching to do. What I am gonna do is just blow off some fucking steam!!!

Forgive me. I gonna have to release some pressure.

Today started of pretty fucking shitty. I wake up in a cold sweat and freezing. But at the time, the chill wasn't what was playing with my emotions. It was a headache. Bad. I think it was a combo or air pressure, weather change, dehydration, sinus congestion, and a message from my dark overlord. So after scrambling out of bed, turning the heat up and trying to gather my wits, I began the search for our box of Goody's powder. No such luck. I dump my person looking for Excedrin, nope. I finally come to grips with a sick reality. I have nothing to combat the headache. So I scarf down an antihistamine pill and two naproxen pills. Boy, what the hell was I thinking.

I make a mental note to speed up so I can get out of the house and stop at a grocery store for either Excedrin or Goody's. After getting dressed, I realized I have 20 minutes to get out of the house ( that's not including extra time to try to find a store open at 6:30 am in this god awful f-ing state). I haven't taken my blood pressure pills, brushed my teeth, put on make up, or brushed my hair. Even better, I still had to defrost my car ( the first morning in 2 weeks the temp happened to be below freezing), and move Hubby's SUV which was so considerately blocking me in the drive way. Let me back up a bit here. Last night, Hubby told me that he had to leave at the same time as me in the morning so, I needn't worry about the vehicle situation. At 6 this morning when I tried my futile attempts to wake him up, he finally told me that he would move his car at 7. I leave every morning for work at 6:30!. So, being totally pissed off, I figured walking away with some control was better than choking him out in his sleep.

At 6:30, I had given up the idea of stopping for headache meds. Not enough time. Especially since there was no where along the way to work to stop. My car was still frozen over and so was the SUV. I went ahead and backed Hubby's truck outta the driveway and parked it on the street. I tossed his keys on the kitchen table while screaming out hate obscenities, (which of course dead man sleeping did not hear) and I went to scrap the windows of my car. By the time I was done, it was 6:43 am. Great, I knew I was gonna be late.

The ride to work was a blur. One because I was traveling at about 93 miles and hour. The other reason, I think the antihistamine was beginning to kick in. God, I really need to remember I can't function on that stuff! I actually got to work 4 minutes early and the opening manager was 5 minutes late. At least that was looking up for me. The rest of the morning I could have skipped. Since my hours have been cut back, there is less time for me to do my tasks which apparently didn't get cut back with my hours. In fact they may have doubled. Also, return heaven. Along with me, others (especially cashiers) were also cut back and out. This morning there was only one cashier scheduled for the morning. So I spent pretty much all day at work behind the cash register. Guess what? That is an extra task. So that is not in my planned tasks, but is expected for you to do should the need arises. Since my coverage area includes the cash area, I'm always up there and I always get sucked into ringing.

Returns. More returns. Gosh, it takes so BLOODY long to do a return. A woman today brought in a hard cover book with no receipt and wanted full price in cash for it. No receipt? Then you are at the mercy of the "Store Credit" gods. The gods have decreed that with out a receipt a person returning an item will get the lost price on a store credit card. The woman brought in a bargain price hard cover book with the bargain bar code removed. Granted she might have gotten it as a gift, but why did she go into an Exorcist moment when I told her I could only give her store credit for the lowest price of that particular book, which in this case was $5.98? I think if she wasn't as wrinkled she might have spat on me.

Even worse than the return imps are the people that have store credit. I really just wanted to drop kick this woman. Usually when you have store credit, you get issued a card. Once the card balance falls below one dollar, the register automatically allows the cashier to give the patron the change. The card is taken and destroyed. So this woman in her fox fur coat ( the heads still attached) demands I give her the last two dollars on the card in dimes. I look at here with an odd perplexity. She goes on this five minute bitch about how she can't use two dollars in our overprice perversion of a retail store and tells me she doesn't care how I get it, but she wanted her two dollars in dimes immediately. So I ring for a manager to open the cash register. ( I can't do it. Only a manager or head cashier can do that). So while we're waiting , she shoots me this look of death. She picks up a chocolate bar sitting at the register and tells me to ring it up. The total came out to $2.95. She pays with the store credit (wiping the balance off) and counts out 95 cents in pennies!!!!!!! She snatches the receipt from me and the chocolate bar, and leaves the store. When the manager comes down, I tell him the story. He says in his best and most cheerful voice, "Don't you just hated it with bitchy old women don't get laid by their Mexican gardeners!" I laughed and rang up the next customer.

I met with our financial advisor today. We are now the proud owners of a savings account and life insurance policies. Yeah. Even more reasons for Hubby to get his knickers in a bunch and go on a rampage of lunacy. Speaking of which, even with a locked in, fixed interest rate, your mortgage can still change. Thanks to some kinda highly educated moron with a MBA, our mortgage is going up 180 dollars a month. Apparently last year we had an $1100 shortage in our escrow. Yes, I know that has nothing to do with our interest rate, but damn it, I was naive enough to think our mortgage wouldn't change. That's 180 reasons that will beheld against me at a later time, because some how this is my fault. As punishment, the extra money needed for escrow will probably be waved in my face, and the lack of money for massage school will be a result of my irresponsibility. I'm depressed enough. I don't even want to go there. Maybe another time.

We are in week 5 of Operation Bathroom Freedom. The walls were primed and two coats were slapped on the wall. Hammer really needs to get a dog. I came home and took Tylenol night time sinus thinking I would sleep for an hour and do some house work. Hammer came by to work on the bathroom. He was whining about his ex who still lives with him. I did however get to the bottom of his issue. Sex. It's always about sex with men. He believes that as a provider, he is entitled to it when and how ever he wants it. The main reason he is breaking up with her, other than her being a skanky whore with a skanky whore daughter, is she doesn't put out. I understand men require sex. Frankly, thinking about his need for sex 3 to 4 times a week made me really nauseous. The man is in no way attractive. He is not even accidentally, I got drunk of my ass attractive. Not even give me the date rape drug and put a paper bag over his face attractive. Sorry. Graphic, I know. He believes that regardless if the woman enjoys it or not, she is obligated to give up the pootang when her man wants it. Little disturbing. I didn't know that we had reverted back to being chimpanzees, but hey, I ain't got to bust his nut for him so, I just smiled and said, "Maybe she's just in a phase." He didn't understand why women don't want to have sex all the time, and why they use excuses like, tired, depressed, in pain, going to work. I then told him, " Maybe because that's what's going on in her world." The conversation went on, but at the end, I felt like I needed a shower to clean myself,and a toothbrush to induce vomiting. Needless to say, he needs to hurry the hell up and finish my bathroom , so I can go back to feeling somewhat innocent. Okay, not innocent, but my naive wycked self.

So I have bored you way to much with my day, and my white tea is getting cold. Oh, one more thing. If you are offered a cup of chocolate mint tea, just avoid it unless you like detoxing your system in overdrive.

Here's my send off:

I purchased a book called A Year with Rumi (daily readings), by Coleman Barks. Every day has a pearl from Mawlānā Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī (awesome Persian poet). Okay, gotta update my profile. I am in love with Eastern philosophy and poetry. I am just getting into Persian poetry. So as I was saying, every date has it's on specific poem/ wisdom piece. Here is Jan1's poem:

A Just-Finishing Candle

A candle is made to become entirely flame.
In the annihilating moment
it has no shadow.

It is nothing but a tongue of light
describing a refuge.

Look at this
just-finishing candle stub
as someone who is finally safe
from virtue and vice,

the pride and the shame
we claim from those.

--Rumi

Lady Yokai

Quiet. Really quiet. Pinch me please!!!!!

How's everyone doing?

I thought I start with the pic for the day, and then work my way into some other talking point.

This is one of Boris V's illustrations called "Enemy Within." I thought she was kinda cool when I found her three years ago. I think powerful warrior chics (especially of the darker persuasion) are absolutely magnificent. The very idea is so far from life it's amazing. When was the last time you saw an image of an African-American warrior woman that was pictured as an African tribe woman or an amazon? Hardly ever should cross your mind. I think it's some kinda discrimination. Other than Storm from the X-Men and any of Pam Grier's characters, who do black women have for kick-ass role models? Well, Vivica Fox did play Copperhead in Kill Bill Vol. 1. So, considering I have a lack of role models except "booty-shaking, gang loving, trash mouth spewing, eyes rolling, head spinning vixens, I scream, " DISCRIMINATION!!!!"

Work was exceptionally and unusually quiet. Seriously. I guess all the crazies were sent back to their respective basements and time warps to be chained back up for another330+ days until the Christmas fairy releases them again. I mean we are full speed ahead for Valentine's Day. So no rants there except for the 3 hours a day I've been cut back on. I think I've been through this so the point is moot.

One of my fellow Wiccans at work did me the honor of bringing in here Circle Trilogy books from Nora Roberts. I started on the first one. It's called Morrigan's Cross. So far I'm on page 7. I came home after work and dropping coffee off to Hubby and put on Elizabeth starring Cate Blanchett and fell asleep. So very little housework got done as you can guess. I guess the one thing I'm totally bummed out about is the lack of exercise I'm doing.

The last month I faithfully continued my Pilate's, but cardio was a complete "No Go" as my workout area in my living room contains bathroom and hallway crap. This is the first time since I got out of the Army that I have just totally not worked out. I was doing so well. I lost all that pesky fatty looking unhappiness, and now because the bathroom seems like it will never get done and will never release the rest of my house from damnation, I don't know when I'll get to do a good cardio session. I mean I guess I could go for walks or runs outside, but I wrote that off when I got out of the Army. I made a promise to myself, "No more crap work outs that I hate. From now on, I will do what I like for exercise." So as much as I have mentioned to Hubby how inconvenient this bathroom deal is, I don't think he really cares. He is not one for exercise and I don't think he supports my obsession with it. It was kinda my daily ritual. So along with no bathroom sink my exercise program has been cast out. This week. Pilate's on hold. I try to take a week off of strenuous exercise so my tat can heal properly. Plus, it's just uncomfortable to exercise when your skin is itching and sore.

So with not much else to talk about, I guess I'll say, "Adieu."

I dare do all that may become a man;
Who dares do more is none.
Macbeth, 1. 7

Yokai